


His Second Shot: Part 11

by thegreatficmaster



Series: His Second Shot [11]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angry John Winchester, Angst, Arguing, M/M, Reader-Insert, Sad John Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 03:02:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20324005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatficmaster/pseuds/thegreatficmaster
Summary: It’s been a year since Y/n left John, leaving the man to struggle to find himself.





	His Second Shot: Part 11

It had been damn near a year now, and I still hadn’t found y/n anywhere. 

I spent the first couple of months lying in bed, drunk off my ass, and stinking like a damn dead body.

I cleaned myself up eventually and tried to go about life without y/n. 

And dammit, it was hard.

Everywhere I looked in town, I saw him. 

Saw where we’d sneak around, the little bench at the park we sat on, far apart, but close enough to talk. 

That little spot in the woods which no one seemed to go to, letting us have a nice picnic.

Hell, everything reminded me of him.

For some reason, the only thing on my mind was whether or not I was good enough for him.

I know, in his letter, he told me he loved me. That I was the best thing to happen to him. 

But he still left. And that just ate away at me.

The insecurities in my head began to take control. 

For the first time since Mary died, I felt myself in that pit. 

The hole that told me I wasn’t good enough. 

That I’d been left for a reason. 

At least with Mary, she didn’t choose it. 

But y/n left willingly.

Fuck, I couldn’t get the thoughts out of my mind.

I tried to move on. 

Lord knows I was desperate enough to ask Kate out again.

She was nice. 

I could tell how much she liked me. And I wished I could like her back, hoping she’d be the one to give me the acceptance and approval I was seeking, make me feel wanted.

And she did. 

But it just wasn’t right. 

It felt wrong, trying to move on from y/n, with her. 

Then there was the fact that I felt horrible, knowing I had no feelings for this woman at all, stringing her along.

So, after a few dates, I told her we shouldn’t try to be anything more than friends. 

She was upset. 

I could tell. 

But I wasn’t just going to keep dating her, just because she wanted me to.

After that, I began sorting myself out.

I continued with college.

Managed to pass the year and started the second. 

I was already almost halfway through, but I was doing well.

Y/n was always a thought in my mind. 

Especially when I went back to class and he wasn’t there teaching me, standing in front of the board, sending little smiles my way. 

But that passed.

I think I was finally getting over y/n.

“Dad!”

Sam walked towards me, giving me a hug, Dean standing away from us.

“Not gonna come over and give your old man a hug?”

Dean rolled his eyes, grumbling as he made his way over, giving me a half-hearted hug.

But I knew he missed me too.

I was spending the month with the boys. 

This time, I decided I’d be going to them. See the city and experience something different, after being confined to the same town for over twenty years now.

“Boys! Would you hurry up!”

God, they were the exact same as children. 

Running about in the supermarket, taking a decade to pick out some stuff.

“Boys! I’m not gonna tell you again!”

They rushed back into the aisle I was waiting at, panting and throwing the pie and damn salad into the trolley.

“Really? This is what you both wanted?”

They both shrugged and I said nothing, walking to the end of the aisle, when another trolley bumped into me.

“Fuck! I’m so sorry. Are yo-”

My throat began closing up, the words unable to escape.

“John”, he breathed out, staring right at me.

“Dean. Sam”, he greeted, a polite smile on his face.

Without letting me get a word in, y/n simply walked away, leaving me standing there, unable to compute what had just happened.

“What the hell do you mean, he lives here?”

“We mean, he lives here”, Dean deadpanned.

Damn, I really felt like smacking him right now.

“How long have you known? How long has he been here?” I gritted out, praying to god neither of my moronic sons would piss me off right now.

“Uhhh…”

Dean scratched the back of his neck, letting me know he was nervous as fuck.

It must have been a while. 

Maybe a month or two.

“Sammy, tell me”, I said gently, knowing he’d cave in.

“Almost a-a year”, he whispered, looking away and standing behind Dean for a second.

“A FUCKING YEAR!”

Sam jumped, Dean’s eyes wide as well.

“I’ve been looking for him. I’ve been trying to find him. And you knew where he was all this time? What, did you hang out? Talk about poor old dad, all alone, while the three of you live it up here?”

“W-what? No. What the hell! We don’t even talk to each other. We just-we ran into each other a while ago. And, we figured he lives kinda close. But we never talk”.

I clenched my jaw, wanting so bad to beat the crap out of Dean right now.

“Where does he live?”

Dean scoffed.

“I’m not telling you that, dad!”

“Like hell you’re not! Gimme the damn address”.

“Fuck no. What? So you can erase mom?”

I groaned, wishing he’d just understand. 

“Dean. Your mom’s been dead for twelve years now. Twelve years. I need to move on. I’m not telling you to forget her. I’m not telling you that y/n is gonna be the one you love, and you don’t say a single word about your mom. All I’m asking is that you let me move on. Hell, I don’t even need your goddamn permission. I let you push and pull, doing what you said, cos you’re my damn kids. But what the fuck kind of kids want a parent miserable? I told you that Lisa girl was bad news. And you didn’t listen to me, insisting she was ‘the one’. Well, look how that turned out. She fucking fucked your best friend and had his kid”.

Dean flinched, his face getting red, but I didn’t give a shit. 

He deserved to hear this.

“I didn’t say a damn word, because you thought that was what made you happy at that moment. Well, I’m not letting you stop me anymore. You’ve tried to change me once, but it’s not fucking happening again. I’m not doing this shit. I’m way too strong to lay down, and take your crap. Now tell me where the fuck he lives!”

Dean stayed silent, his nose flaring, fists by his sides, when Sam stepped forward.

“He lives a couple blocks down”.

Dean’s head whipped towards his brother, betrayal on his face.

“What the fuck, Sammy? Why the hell would you tell him?”

Sam ran his hands through his hair, which really needed cutting at this point, and sighed.

“Because, I could see how devastated dad was when you made them breakup. Which means he must’ve been really happy. And dad’s right. He deserves to move on. After all this time, he should have that chance. Besides, y/n’s a nice guy”.

“How the hell would you know that?”

“I’ve met him. A few times. We spoke about you, dad. Spoke about how you were doing. He said he was sorry for just leaving like that, but that it was for the best. But I could tell he didn’t really believe that”.

Sam scribbled something down on a piece of paper and handed it to me.

I knew what it was.

“Thank you, son. Thank you so much”.

He smiled at me, that innocent little smile I was so used to seeing for the past twenty years. 

My boy.

“Well, I’ll be back soon”.

I walked towards the door, turning to look at Dean.

“Dean. I love you. You know that. But I deserve to be happy. And I just hope you’ll get on board with this”.

Damn. 

It felt good, doing what I wanted, letting myself be happy. 

Spreading my wings, letting myself soar. 

Well, hopefully I would, when I saw y/n again.

I opened the door and walked out, making my way to the elevator, the shouting from within the penthouse already starting.

But all I cared about right now was seeing y/n.


End file.
